Written by Ryan Inverso
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Tuesday, 10 May 2011

image for Nintendo Unveils New 3DS XL Lite Advance 64

Hot on the heels of the successful launch of their 3DS line of handheld gaming consoles, Nintendo has already announced their next venture into pocket gaming. The "3DS XL Lite Advance 64" will revolutionize handheld and interactive gaming.

"Nintendo has always been at the precipice of creating a completely immersive and interactive gaming experience." says a Nintendo spokesperson whose name we can't even think about pronouncing let alone spelling. "The 3DS XLA64 will continue with this tradition and take it to a whole new level." How do they plan to do this you may ask? Well details are being kept a big secret, another Nintendo tradition, but another Nintendo spokesperson with a crazy hard to pronounce Japanese name gave us an example of one of the launch titles.

"In Mario House Party, within 5 minutes of starting the game, a real Italian plumber and his brother will show up at your house tripping on mushrooms with a green dinosaur. What you do with them at that point is completely up to you. The options are endless and many illegal. Let's just say hide any pet turtles you may have because we can't be responsible for what happens to them. We also plan to release a Legend of Zelda game that we expect to be popular within the gay community."

While details are still sketchy, gamers across the US are buzzing about the new console and what it means for the future of gaming. "Imagine the possiblities," says gamer Ian LeClair, the man responsible for the accidental hack of PSN. "I am praying for a Tomb Raider game. That would be AWESOME!!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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