WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin was asked to comment on GOP campaign foe Donald Trump. She replied that if he tries any of that ridiculous time-wasting birth certificate, birther bullshit with her she'll shoot that cheap ass, whore-looking wig right off his arrogant head.
Palin, wearing a pair of red Daisy Duke short shorts and an Iceberg State University sweatshirt, was sitting on the deck of her Wasilla home known as Casa Moscow talking with Tabitha Tula Wishywater, 52, a reporter for GOPicky Magazine.
"Shotgun" Sarah remarked that Ms. Wishywater is one of the few members of the news media who does not look down upon her simply because she has no earthly idea if North Korea is the Korea that is on the top or on the bottom.
Palin has also praised GOPicky Magazine for being the only U.S. publication to never have referred to her as "Crosshairs" Palin.
Ms. Wishywater stated that it has always been the policy of her Republican Party backed publication to never make any disparaging remarks about any GOP member no matter how silly, dumb, stupid, ignorant, or way-of-base they may be.
She giggled and said that for example GOPicky has never written that Senator John McCain has one of the silliest looking comb overs in the entire country.
She added that they do not even refer to his hairdo as being a comb-over and instead they just say that Senator John McCain has seven very long hairs on the extreme left side of his head that he combs over to the extreme right side of his head.
Wishywater also noted that her publication has never made fun of Mike Huckabee's name by changing it to Huckleberry, Huckster, Huckeffen, Huckfriggin, or Huckshitz like so many other publications have.
She added that she is tremendously proud of her wonderful publication's motto which is "As Fair As We Can Legally Be And Still Remain Totally Unbalanced."
TT, as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Charlie Sheen Call Tabitha Tula, is happy to say that she is the only American reporter who has never referred to Ann Coulter by her nickname "Trigger."
She did note for the record that on several occasions, yes she has called her "Giddy Up" and "Horsey Face" but quickly added that she has never once called her "Trigger."
Sarah Palin did want it made perfectly clear that Donald Trump better not mess with her. She pointed out that if Donald Trump wants to get down in the gutter and play dirty politics that she is certainly one who knows all about the gutter and she will be more than happy to get down and start tossing sh*t all over the friggin place.
Bristol Palin's mom wanted it made very clear that if "Hairdo Boy" dares to bring up anything about Todd Palin's alleged involvement with his salmon fishing guide she will have no choice but to mention that she heard from an unnamed inside source that Donald Trump wears Victoria's Secret bikini thongs underneath his suit.
GOPicky Magazine will follow Sarah Palin throughout the upcoming 2012 presidential campaign. And they are thrilled to say that they are the only news agency that is welcome at Casa Moscow.