Washington D.C. - Intelligence sources have indicated, through covert contacts, Obama will send a team to capture or kill John Wilkes Booth. Recent videos have surfaced on the internet that show a man who appears to be Booth ranting about the Federal Government.
Obama was angered by Booth's diatribes. Booth even went so far as to say that Osama was still alive and probably living in Miami Beach.
Obama, a scholar, has traced Booth to Arizona after studying history books at the Library of Congress. He has plans to seal off the state to conduct house-to-house searches for Booth, who he expects to be disguised as a Nun.
After taking out Booth, Obama plans to wrap him in a Confederate flag and shoot him from a cannon, dressed as a cowboy. First, he plans to take plenty of pictures, for his friends only.
Prior to that he will conduct a reading of the Confederate Constitution.
The cannon will be aimed into the Gulf of Mexico. Obama expects this to make him a shoe-in for 2012.