Written by Asheville Jack
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Tuesday, 3 May 2011

image for George Bush - "UFO's Powered by Cranberry Juice"

Vice President Dick Cheney's recently released book on the inside working of the Bush White house paints a portrait of a President who was inquisitive as a child yet a gullible political and intellectual neophyte.

The book, entitled "Down the Rabbit Hole" expands on Cheney's previous White House tell-all best selling tome "A Horse is a Horse, of Course of Course." In his latest book Cheney openly pokes fun at his previous boss.

For instance Cheney relates how after only weeks in office Bush demanded to be briefed on the "UFO situation" while in a Cabinet meeting. The perplexed CIA chief George Tenet stammered at first before telling Bush that "all we know for sure is that UFO's are powered by cranberry juice - that's why you never see cranberry juice in supermarkets anymore," knowing that the President hadn't been in a supermarket in years.

Cheney says member of the Cabinet couldn't reveal to the President the truth about UFO's, as they felt he wouldn't be able to process the information. Think back to 911, Cheney says in the book, when he just sat there reading to children when the Twin Towers were attacked. He wouldn't have moved for days if we told him the truth about UFO's."

Other tidbits in Cheney's book:

-President Bush wanted to tell the press that he kept frozen in Texas a steak that bore the likeness of Jesus on it, but was reluctant to when he learned that the steak went up in flames at a sorority party hosted by daughter Jenna.

-The President loved water guns fights and Saturday morning cartoons.

At a book signing in Virginia, Cheney slyly told how he still doesn't have the heart to tell the ex-President that UFO's aren't actually powered by cranberry juice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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