DOVER, Delaware - Donald "Mr. Hairdo" Trump has claimed victory by saying that he has accomplished what Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Sarah Palin, and Chuck Norris couldn't and that is to get President Barack Obama to release his birth certificate.
Trump, who is considered to be one of the biggest braggarts in the entire USA, smacked his lips and said that if what he has just done is not enough to show the American people that he can get things done then he will go to his hair stylist and get a crew cut.
He thought about it for a while and then said, bullsh*t, I like my hair, my wife likes my hair, my daughter Ivanka, and my son little Donnie Jr. like my hair, and everyone of my employees likes my hair, so my hair ain't going no place.
Trump, whose own doctor has admitted has an ego the size of Greenland, thinks that he is the only person in America who knows everything about everything.
A reporter for TV ClickerWorld stated that Trump has let his show Celebrity Apprentice go to his head as evidenced last week when he fired one of the nicest, kindest, most compassionate people on the face of the earth La Toya Jackson.
And he fired her so that he could keep one of the meanest, most conniving, most hateful, backstabbing Naomi Campbellesque bitches in the nation Star Jones and that Amazon looking butch-haired Wendy Williams clone NeNe Leakes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Damn that's just a degree above other reality shows including Cooking Cornbread With Wynonna Judd, Making Great Tasting Meals Out of Roadkill With Reba McEntire, and Richard Simmons Shows You How He Sews His Own Short Shorts And How You Can To If You Really and Truly Had A Hankerin' To.