Written by Honey West
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Topics: Prince William

Saturday, 23 April 2011

image for Prince William To Finally Have A Last Name
The proud home of the future Mr. and Mrs. Middleton

Middle America, USA - A recent survey of Americans indicate that they do not know Prince William's last name or even if he has ever had one. Some Americans believe his last name might be "Buckingham" or the longer and more unwieldy version, "Prince William, son of Prince Charles and Princess Diana." But no one on this side of the pond is really sure.

They also do not know his grandmother's last name, Queen Elizabeth. It's just Grandma Queen Elizabeth. What's up with that? Not much more to go on. Even that big ship has always been known only as the QE2...not the Elizabeth Smith or the Elizabeth Jones. This name situation has been a royal pain in the butt for Americans, who have enough problem trying to remember their own president's weird name.

However, there's good news on the horizon. With the pending nuptials of Prince William, this issue will finally be solved. He, of course, will be Mr. Middleton and thankfully, Americans will now be able to properly refer to the royal couple as Mr. and Mrs. Middleton. This boy hasn't had a last name for so long, it's about time he got one. The sweet couple can now go to parties and family get togethers and barbecues and other fun things that Americans understand and identify with. He can now sign checks properly as Mr. William Middleton instead of just PW or the Prince. It will be a huge relief for him to be able to conduct business in a normal manner.

William Middleton and his lovely bride Kate will raise the Middleton children to carry on the Middleton name. It's certainly a lot easier to remember and spell than Buckingham or Shropshire or whatever he was, if he ever was anything. We just don't know. Plus it has a nice, middle class sound to it. It's a pity that none of the royal people have last names but we can thank the Middleton family for providing this incredibly important advantage and stability to Prince William.

Now if Prince Harry can find someone to marry, which may take awhile as he's rather backward and strange, he, too, will finally have a last name and all will be well. But it seems too late for his grandmother. She'll always be Queen Elizabeth. Just Queen Elizabeth. She really needs a last name that she can use and enjoy, like the rest of us in the world. And Americans especially in the heartland would love to know what it is, if only she'd bloody well tell us!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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