Written by TomFoolery
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Wednesday, 5 October 2005

image for President Bush Appoints New White House Counsel
Can You Say 'Blue State'?

THE WHITE HOUSE-President George W. Bush stunned the nation, fellow Republicans and completely flabbergasted left-listing liberal Democrats by nominating a no-name to the Supreme Court. But that was nothing compared to who he has selected to replace Harriet Miers as White House Counsel: Playdough Pete.

Asked where in the HELL he got such a cockamamie notion, the American Chief Executive could not suppress a chuckle. "Heck, folks, I've known ole Pete here since I was just a little cowpoke. We went to school together. Shoot, I remember it clear as day: we were together in the third grade three times! He got better grades than I did, but he never bragged about it." George W. credits Pete with inspiring him to become the upstanding Republican he is today. But we have to ask ourselves, who's molding who here?

Pete has been accused of being rather cold, somewhat crude, with opinions easily shaped by anyone with a firm hand and a determined attitude. But, left alone for long enough, he has been known to stand firm on his convictions, yet remain flexible in the right environment. Over the years, the president's ‘putty buddy' has been a source of comfort and a tremendous stress reliever when times have been tough.

Particularly since he became president, not once but twice, Playdough Pete has helped George W. through times of trial and tribulation. With the tools of his trade, namely Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys, Pete has been instrumental in assisting the president in devising a post-hurricane reconstruction plan. While it's no secret the president sought outside advice and expertise in military strategy, rumor has it that not Pete, but his cousin Mr. Bill, was the brains behind the US invasion of Iraq.

The addition of Playdough Pete to the White House staff will not come without its consequences. Two of the very first Oval Office advisors George W. brought in were his childhood playmates Gumby and Pokey. In fact, they are prominently displayed on the president's desk. Pete never got along with the other figures, but now that he can sue them silly if they get out of line, the ‘Playdough power broker' just sits and smiles blithely.

Those close to the president wonder about his relationship with Pete. Apparently, the Commander-in-Chief still suffers from a little known schoolroom paste addiction since childhood, but he's trying to go straight. Pete, it seems, provides the president with a bit more than mere moral support. Pete's becoming slimmer, not because of a change in his diet, but because George W. has taken to pinching off little nibbles of Pete to quell his penchant for paste.

Thank goodness George W. is a lame duck president. Odds are, Playdough Pete won't last much longer, and having Silly Putty as White House Counsel just wouldn't do.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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