Written by Morse
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Monday, 18 April 2011

image for VP Biden Nods Off During Hearing Concerning Air Traffic Controllers Sleeping on Job!
Air Traffic Controllers No Longer Have to Nap Alone says Biden!

Vice President Joe Biden, often accused of being asleep at the switch himself , said there was no excuse for the recent spate of potentially dangerous incidents of Airport Controllers leaving their panels for a snooze or a quickie and blamed Ronald Reagan!

Biden, who professes he wishes he was a train engineer for Amtrak, the debt plagued taxpayer boondoggle to which President Obama wants to make the poster child for his WTF vision of the future, was recently caught snoozing himself during the Barry's first campaign speech to fed up debt ridden taxpayers.

Biden said Reagan was at fault for the recent incidents. "Reagan ruined the unions.
He unfairly thought one man could do the job during the late shift from 11 PM to 7 AM.
Everybody knows, even a union employee gets tired of playing with himself to make the time pass. We're going back to the old ways....each tower will now be staffed with at least
seven (7) controllers. The odd man (or woman), depending on their gender orientation, can keep an eye on the screens while the others get to F***k around, which is a big deal under the current humane union contract I'm going to propose."

Things may be slowing down a little anyway at the nation's airports. There are reports that at least 75% of the airlines now flying may be grounded due to service and maintenance problems when it was discovered that airlines were outsourcing routine service and safety checks to El Salvador where no one spoke English, and most employees had relatives in MS-13, the notorious blood thirsty gang over running some of the nation's most diverse
cities.

Said one DEA agent who didn't wish to be quoted,"those planes are going over there empty and coming back loaded with drugs, but we've been told by Homeland Security as long as there's no bombs in the planes to let them pass...they just want to see where the drugs go."

An independent investigator said that Janet Napolitano has been personally 'keeping an eye on developments for the past 2 years." No arrests yet.

In related matters, White House Press Secretary states that President Obama has officially given up smoking due to the cost of cigarettes, but is now suffering from a chronic running nose.

Mexico's President Felipe Calderon has threatened to sue the US Government over the reduced cost of high grade cocaine pouring into the country from El Salvador. "Those Bastards are flooding the market and profits are going down....all so that Obama can claim
inflation is under control! PUTA!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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