Written by Bonijean Isaacs
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Topics: Prison, Guantanamo

Tuesday, 4 October 2005

image for Zsa Zsa appointed Presidental Advisor for War Prison Reform
Zsa Zsa's recalls Prison Trauma

President Bush has decided that he needs another woman in the Pentagon. Officially an Actress, but mostly famous for multiple marriages Zsa Zsa Gabor has agreed to become a advisor on Jailhouse Reform for Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib Prisons

In an interview with the press Gabor tells them "Dahlink! I can give Dubya oodles of advise on prison reform" Gabor recalls her traumatic experience in a suburban jail. "It was terrible, I had to pay $100 a day to stay out of the downtown jail. I still had to wash my face with Elvian Bottled water. They took away my Oil of Olay and wouldn't let me wear my Bob Mackie-designed prison dress."

Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested for slapping a Beverly Hills police officer and driving with an expired license. Gabor later complains that she was denied a jury of her peers, saying "It was not my class of people, There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor." Ultimately, Gabor is convicted and sentenced to 72 hours in jail.

The first thing she did was contact Fidel and talked him into donating 100 cases of Havana's best- Hoyo de Monterey double corona cigars for the prisoners. These cigars which generally costs about $25 when purchased overseas and are considered contraband in the United States. Zsa Zsa also called Martha Stewart for advise on improving the fare for the prisoners of war.

The Actress id having her book, "How to Catch A Man, How to Keep a Man and How to Get Rid of a Man" translated to the languages of the prisoners. She will be sending autographed copies of the book to the wives and girlfriends of the incarcerated men. "In fact I will distribute the book to all women in these countries. If you really want to defeat the enemies of the United States, send the poor "dahlinks" back to their wives after reading my book. A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished especially if his wife listens to me," the newest president advisor quotes as she autographs a copy for First Lady Laura.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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