Written by Aspartame Boy
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Sunday, 17 April 2011

image for FAA to publish Air Traffic Controllers cell phone numbers
Ths controller has just been "awakened"

Atlantic City, N.J. - Officials at FAATECH (a.k.a. NAFEC, a.k.a. Atlantic City Airport a.k.a The Rascal Lounge) have solved the somnolence issues with a rash stroke. Dr. Vonblight, public relations for the FAA, addressed a small group of reporters from his balcony at the compound, building 149, under tight security.. diving F15s and stealth jets.

Vonblight announced that all ATC (Air Traffic Controllers) private cell phone numbers will be published. Now, when they fail to answer the radio and fail to answer the land line, their cell phone will ring. The pilot will be required to program the cell phone numbers of all controllers on his route so that he can quickly punch through the snorting susurrrations of the snoring.

The cell phones of the controllers will in turn be wired to the most sensitive parts of their bodies in such a manner as to quickly ring them back to alertness when needed. The resulting audio track will be played live in the cabins for the amusement of the passengers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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