British Petroleum (BP) announced today that their geologic survey team discovered a vast pool of snake oil lying beneath the Washington, DC area, enough they say to take care of America's energy appetite for the next 80 years or so.
This snake oil deposit, according to experts, is so shallow and so slick that, "it hardly needs to be refined. It's exactly like what you would expect if you boiled down a trillion Harry Reid's, Nancy Pelosi's and Barack Obama's."
Rene Olivaras, spokesperson for BP, said that the United States will never have to rely on other countries for oil again. "This oil is so close to the surface, it is hard to imagine why no one has found it before."
The White House so far has not acknowledged this important discovery. However, Sarah Palin just told FOX News "that she doesn't expect to see oil derricks outside the White House until President Obama slips and falls on his ass in his own snake oil slick."