The Associated Press released an early excerpt from President Obama's speech to the Nation this afternoon in which the President will declare that the war against the Mexican drug cartels has been a well documented failure.
Using the well worn maxim that has been around since the invention of Adam and Eve, "If you can't beat em, join em," the third president in a row to openly admit that he has smoked a joint or two, will tell the American public that to balance the budget and pay down the trillion dollar deficit, critical steps must be taken.
"Why should we allow these vicious cartels who make billions of dollars feeding the insatiable drug appetite of red-blooded, hard-working Americans when we can do so ourselves?"
Adjusting his tie and gazing into his TelePrompter with loving eyes, he will tell his fellow Americans that:
"Even though this goes against the grain of our religious heritage and common sense, the truth is that if we don't take this step now, we will lose the opportunity for our government to participate in the biggest money-making business on the face of the earth. So today, I am announcing the formation of the Department of Drug Cartel, to be headed by my old friend and fellow toker, Snoop Doggy Dogg."