Written by Ellie James

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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for The Texas Comptroller's office unknowingly helps out identity thieves
Simon Gaines in his aunt's office

Austin, Texas - It was recently discovered that Social Security numbers and other information of about 3.5 million people were placed on a public server for about a year.

The Texas Comptroller's office was very surprised and angered when 12-year-old Simon Gaines, nephew of one of the office assistants, discovered the error. "We take personal information very seriously. Kinda. We will, starting now." Texas Comptroller Susan Combs said. She continued, "I want to reassure Texans that Simon has taught us which server is secure and we now understand what to do."

Simon, who was hanging out at his aunt's office after school discovered the error as he was updating his Facebook Status, and then immediately Tweeted about how stupid adults can be.

A Comptroller's Office employee, who wishes to remain anonymous, understands how the error could occur. "Texas has been cash strapped for some time. Secured servers cost more. It also takes more time and expertise. There is more paperwork involved. You should see the amounts of paperwork we have here. Do you think we really want more?"

After learning that this is being called the "largest unauthorized release of public information by a state agency," Governor Rick Perry shook his head and laughed. "We always do it bigger in Texas!" he said.

The information that was released is from the Texas Retirement System of Texas (TRS), the Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) and the Employees Retirement System of Texas (ERS.) As 100,000 Texas teachers are about to be laid off at the close of the school year because of budget problems, it looks like they will have another thing to worry about: Identity Theft.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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