Reno, NV - Gay cowboys are having a hissy-fit today, after their annual $1 trillion budget from the federal government was cut exactly in half. The screaming queens threatened to go on a hunger strike if their taxpayer funded payments were not restored completely. Gay cowboy poet Larry Lovecock is the spokesperson for the group. He spoke to the press about their concerns.
"I'm a poet, and I know it. I love to write puns, and also to suck guns." said Larry Lovecock.
Larry then burst into tears, and told the press all about his horrible upbringing in Texas, where he had to deal with two homophobic parents, and a mean pussycat.
"My parents didn't understand me." lisped Larry. He tossed back his strawberry blond hair, and cried. "Even the pussycat would bite me." he wept.
"Now, I won't be getting as much money from the government, and it's all the fault of hateful Republicans! I might never write another poem ever again!" he shrieked, and cried until his mascara ran down his bloated cheeks.
Larry said he would write just one more poem, and then he would go on a hunger strike until his government grant was restored.
I'm just a girly guy, you know
It's so much fun to blow, and blow
I'm a cowboy too, and like to ride
Give me your money, or I'll cry!