Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 10 April 2011

image for Oprah Winfrey Meets With President Obama And Offers To Lend America $500 Million!
President Obama smiling after receiving the $500 million check from Oprah Winfrey. (Photo by Gayle King).

CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey and her boyfriend Stedman Graham and her BFF Gayle King recently had President and Mrs. Obama over for dinner at Winfrey's Chicago Mansion Casa La Big O.

The occasion marked Gayle Kings new five pound weight loss which she attributed to being on the Animal Crackers Diet, which calls for having three animal crackers for breakfast, two animal crackers for lunch, and two animal crackers for dinner.

Gayle said that after being on the Animal Crackers Diet for 30 days she had managed to lose an amazing five pounds.

When asked if she had any side effects she smiled, took a bite out of a giraffe animal cracker, and said that she now finds herself fantasizing about Tarzan and oddly enough Jane.

Gayle disclosed that she has acquired a better understanding for the way that animals and people intermingle in the confines of our every day lives.

King pointed out that she never before knew that hippo's actually mate for life whereas rhinos have a tendency of mating for three to four weeks tops and then moving on to greener pastures (so to speak).

Winfrey chimed in by adding that she personally did not know that elephants actually hate peanuts but only eat them because they are very polite animals and do not want to offend circus goers who tend to feed them peanuts after the big circus performance during the "Hey Kids Lets Meet The Animals Up Close" segment.

Michelle Obama said that growing up on the South side of Chicago her favorite animal cracker was the laughing hyena. The president said that as a young boy his favorite animal cracker was the camel.

He rolled his eyes and remarked that up until last year it still was but then he decided to change it to a bear for the obvious reason.

After the Winfrey party finished their four-course imported Parisian dinner they went into the mini-auditorium where they were entertained by Winfrey's favorite band Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz.

After the concert Winfrey and the president retreated to Oprah's private study where the two discussed the sad state of the nation's economy.

Winfrey told the president that she hoped that the government would not have to go through a governmental shut down.

President Obama took a sip of his Lowenbrau and said that the way things are looking the nation may face a GSD, as he calls it within two weeks.

Oprah shook her head and told the president that she has really been blessed with her fame, wealth, mansions, Gayle, yachts, million dollar paintings, Stedman, and now her own television network, OWN, no pun intended.

She took out her checkbook and told the president that she was going to write him out a check, made out to The United States of America in the sum of $500 million.

She said that she hoped that it would help to prevent a governmental shut down. The president got a tear in his eye as he looked at the check. He studied it and then said that he noticed that she had misspelled the word United.

He told her that she had written Untied but that it was no big deal because he assured her that the U.S. Treasury Department would not have any trouble at all accepting the check for deposit.

Oprah Winfrey also told the president that this year she is picking up the tab for the yearly White House Easter Egg Hunt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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