Written by TomFoolery
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 30 September 2005

image for Democrats Set to Crucify DeLay
House Speaker Delay: What, no crown of thorns?!

CAPITOL HILL-Washington Democrats are absolutely giddy over the investigative spotlight now shining on indicted House Speaker Tom DeLay…so much so, that they're already condemned him even before he's had his day in court.

A tip of the Stetson to those laudable liberals for doing what they can to save the taxpayers time and money by cutting to the chase with a swift conviction, thus saving the judicial system needless deliberation and foolishness such as facts and legalities and due process.

The liberal Democrat credo, undeniably, is simply, ‘Who cares how you get it as long as you get what you want, it makes the other guy look worse than you, and you can hide your wrongdoing in the dust you kick up on the opposition and the mock furor with which you lash out indiscriminately.' And what's even wackier than that is that the dingy Demos actually think it'll work.

Shown here, soon-to-be-NOT House Speaker DeLay is trying out the loaner cross he's been made to bear by bloodthirsty Democrats who have been spoiling for a fight ever since they lost control of basically anything and everything they ever had in Congress and the administration. Liberal mouthpieces have come crawling out of the woodwork to chime in with their diatribes of detritus to condemn the Republican Empire. It's no wonder Democrats shy away from mirrors lest they see in themselves what they so quickly and vehemently condemn in their erstwhile adversaries.

Since it's been a few thousand years since the last official crucifixion, Democrats are scurrying around trying to find a good source for a ‘finishing cross' for ‘Terrible Tom.' Looking among their own ranks, prominent members of the combined United Woodworkers Union and local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan have offered to donate a freshly hewn ‘front-yard' model cross to the spectacle.

Mississippi State Grand Wizard and Journeyman Tree Feller Les Bernham was overjoyed at the prospect of one of his crosses being given such high level recognition. ‘Doggoneit, we'd much rather see this beauty on national TV rather than smoldering down here in the projects. Plus, we can reuse it once they're done with it. Ya' can't beat that!"

It's a shame Democrats have been so avid about taking religion out of the schools. Seems they either fail to remember or perhaps never learned in the first place that the last person who died on the cross was resurrected and achieved immortality. Wonder what they'll do when, after all their futile fire and brimstone, they see ole Tom, back where he was before the whole thing started, sitting at the right hand of George W.

Make TomFoolery's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 5?

1 3 9 13
82 readers are online right now!

Go to top