Written by b kenneth mcgee
Print this
Topics: Congress, Sleep

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

The Republican controlled congress proposed legislation yesterday to eliminate Medicare and social security for seniors. SLEEP is an acronym for: Seniors Loving Everlasting & Eternal Peace. The legislation passed unanimously among Republican house members and is being hailed by the GOP members in the senate.

Apparently, provisions of the bill will transfer the program to the states for administration and the money will be transferred in block grants. States, who already have animal shelters, will place seniors who cannot afford to live without the programs currently in existence, in shelters alongside the stray animals they currently house.

"This is a compassionate program," stated one Tea Party member of congress. "The seniors in our society will be given loving and concerned care for sixty days. There are funds for advertising in the program and the shelters will have the opportunity to show loving, cute, and sad-eyed seniors peering from behind bars in singles and in pairs asking for a loving home. The ads will also state that no spaying or shots are required while some states are offering a free puppy to anyone adoopting one or more seniors. If there isn't an adoption in thirty days, and barring a last minute call from the governor's office, the individuals will be assisted on their way to a loving and eternal peace." The congressman paused and then added, "Greater love hath no man, than to take care of those that preceded him."

Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina commented, "It is time we provided for our children and grandchildren and not put the burden of our wasteful spending on their backs."

A reporter asked Graham: "But Senator, you're not married. You don't have any children and not likely to have grandchildren. What do you say to that?"

Graham replied: "Well, it's about time we did something about those little bloodsuckers also."

In related news, the government of Mexico is expressing concern that tens of thousands of senior citizens from the U.S. are streaming into Mexico, "seeking a better life."

Make b kenneth mcgee's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

3 1 13 5
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more