Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 8 April 2011

image for The Reasons Why Todd Palin Says That His Wife Sarah Palin Needs To Enter Into A Rehab Clinic
Sarah "Snowflake" Palin on her way to their Casa Moscow mailbox. (Photo by Piper Palin).

WASILLA, Alaska - Todd Palin, whom Sarah referred to during her failed vice-presidential campaign of 2008, as the "First Dude" says that he has grown extremely concerned with the well-being state of his wife-mother-huntress Sarah Louise Palin.

Todd said that a while back he and Sarah were out sitting on the front porch of their Casa Moscow home talking, having some Moose Cracklins, and drinking a little Corona Light Beer.

He said that all of a sudden Sarah said that when she is elected president in 2012, that one of the first things she is going to do is to build an eight-lane bridge between Anchorage, Alaska and Seattle, Washington.

Todd said he informed her that the bridge would be over 1,400 miles long and that SaPa, as he calls her in bed, said that she did not care because she had dreamed about that ever since she was a little hunting girl of nine.

He also mentioned that he really became quite embarrassed when on Groundhog Day of this year that Sarah got all dressed up in her camouflage hunting clothes and waited all night for Punxsutawney Phil to show. And when he did she shot him in front of the assembled news media.

Another thing about his wife that is really causing him stress is the fact that she feels that she has to use what she refers to as Palinista phrases such as "Ya know," "You betcha," "Gosh darnit," and "So how's that Health Care thingy workin' out for ya huh?" at least 90 times each and every day.

Todd also said that when the Missus found out that her recent reality show, Sarah Palin's Frozen Alaska was not nominated for an Emmy Award she became so angry that she grabbed her high-powdered telescopic hunting rifle, got in her truck, and drove off.

And out of frustration and anger she ended up shooting a moose and a reindeer. But unfortunately both the moose and reindeer were in a cage exhibit at the Eskimo Esther Zoo in downtown Wasilla.

Todd responded by saying that he does not want to know the particulars about the incident but that Sarah someone managed to get the matter resolved in her favor.

But the man who hates being referred to as Mr. Sarah Palin says that he is at his wits end.

He divulged that the thing that concerns him the most is the fact that their ex-former son-in-law Levi Johnston's former girlfriend, Kathy Griffin, also known as "The Red Cougar" made some very cruel remarks about their daughter Bristol.

Todd said that Griffin has really upset his wife and angered her by saying that there is no way that the Palin's chubby, quasi-cute daughter should have placed third in last years edition of Dancing With The Stars.

"The Red Cougar" remarked that Bristol has about as much dancing ability as a turtle has the ability to jog.

Palin said that he has been told that the word on the streets of Wasilla is that "Snowflake" as Sarah is called, may somehow try to harm the star of My Life On The D-List.

So Todd Palin has told himself that he needs to find a way to somehow get his wife to enter into rehab before she ends up doing something that will totally destroy her lifelong dream of one day becoming President Sarah Palin.

In a non-related story. The United Nations has disclosed that Panama's planned invasion of Sweden, which had been scheduled for May 17, 2011, has been cancelled. No official or unofficial reason for the cancellation was given.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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