Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 6 April 2011

image for Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Are Thinking About Buying One Of The Nation's Largest Hamburger Franchises
The Burger Bandit's classic burger "The Sawed Off Shotgun." (Photo from The David Crosby Collection).

OXNARD, California - Singing sensations and extremely wealthy individuals Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have been seriously contemplating purchasing one of America's biggest burger chains, Burgers-in-The-Round.

Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo stated that he recently spoke with the young couple after they had attended a Shania Twain concert which was held at The Danny Bonaduce Convention Center and Wrestling Arena in downtown Oxnard.

De Gallo asked the very happy, non-stop smiling couple if the rumor of the burger chain purchase was in fact true.

Justin, who was holding Selena's left hand as she hand-fed him popcorn with her right hand, replied that it was true and that at first they had thought about buying the Burger Champ franchise but soon found out that it was not for sale.

They then inquired about the possibility of buying Burger Queen, Hamburger Hanna, and Burger Bandit. Selena smiled and said that being from Texas she was leaning towards Burger Bandit which is based in San Antonio.

When asked why they had decided on buying a hamburger chain as opposed to a pizza franchise or a chicken chain Justin instantly replied that he had recently read a survey poll that had been conducted by the highly reputable music magazine Yippee-Ki-Yay which showed that 97 percent of all teenagers in America loved hamburgers.

Selena added that the figures for pizza and chicken were a little lower at 93 percent for pizza and 91 percent of chicken.

Bieber told Pico de Gallo that if he and Selena do purchase the huge hamburger conglomerate they will star in most of the commercials along with some of their best friends including Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Steven Tyler, and Boo Boo Stewart.

Selena also commented that her and Justin have even written an appropriate hamburger song that they could possibly include as a duet on each others CDs. The song is titled, "You're The Hamburger Of My Life, And I Love You So Much That I've Decided To Up-Size You."

Recent independent national research studies show that hamburgers are the number one fast food item in 49 of the 50 states. The only state where hamburgers were not ranked at number one was in Arizona where they are ranked number three behind tacos and burritos, which is amazing since the 'Desert State' outlawed both tacos and burritos last year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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