Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Sunday, 3 April 2011

A public opinion poll released late yesterday sums up the public sentiments about Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey with the statement of one of those interviewed: "As endearing as a beer fart!"

Despite the likeability rating of less than five percent, his electability ranking was a startling seventy percent! The poll tries to explain the dichotomy.

While most of those interviewed did not like the governor personally, they admired his frankness and in a perverse way his total disdain for the electorate. A spokesman for the survey commented, "It must be the year of the 'hurt me' electorate! They are disgusted with Washington D.C. as usual and would rather vote for someone they didn't like and insulted them than the usual politico. They are tired of politicians telling them, they feel their pain while putting a bid in on their foreclosed home!"

Christie reacted to the poll as expected with the following statement: "Frankly, I don't give a fuck. I am not running, I don't plan to run, and if I did I wouldn't stand up in front of a screaming bunch of assholes to announce it. I will continue to do this until the day I am sworn in! On the other hand and in the words of George Washington, 'It is better to have a lion leading a thousand asses than an ass leading a thousand lions!' Now, leave me alone, I have some teachers, firefighters, and cops to insult."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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