Written by dutch
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 2 April 2011

image for 'Skinnymalinx" Victoria's Secret Model Is Gradually Vanishing

A skeletal thin lingerie model is gradually fading away. She is gradually growing thinner and thinner.

The South African beauty is worried by her gradual loss of weight. She said, "I bought some special 'vanishing cream' and rubbed it on my butt, stomach and thighs and my flesh started to magically fade away.

At a swimwear launch for Victoria's secret the slim lovely confessed she had started to get too slim for her own good. She said, "I wanted to go down a dress size or two but I seem to be vanishing more every day. At first I was pleased but now I do not want to shrink any more."

The 22 year old swimwear model admitted that she bought his magic "Flubber Vanishing Beauty Cream" from a beauty parlour in Harley Street which has since ceased trading and the shop-assistant said it would help her to detox and burn off fat.

The worried young girl said, "I was pleased when the weight started to drop off but I did not imagine that the process was irreversible. If I lose any more weight I'll have nothing to fill the bikini tops and panties. I've been told to 'bulk up' but I am unable to gain weight."

Worried doctors are wondering what the sinister 'Flubber Vanishing cream' contained. The tub has run out and they are unable to analyse the content as it has all vanished.

It is only a matter of time before the lovely lady disappears altogether. Sixties model Twiggy said, "Candice is a beautiful girl and is just at a nice size but she doesn't need to lose any more weight."

It has been referred to Dr House who has told her that she must have some genetic mutation which has been caused by the mysterious potion. He said, "Leave it with me I'll have to counteract the flubber gel with a medicinal mix of vaseline and lard and hopefully I'll be able to help the poor girl get her mojo back."

Fans of Candice are hoping that Dr House will be able to work his magic before the lovely girl vanishes and all that is left is a pair of sunglasses and a thong and a bikini top.

House said, "It is a tough job but I will deliver and rejuvenate Candice but then she'll have to help herself by going to McDonalds every day to have a full fat strawberry milkshake.

Victoria's Secret are relieved that Candice will be able to rediscover her curves and has said, "We are worried that we don't produce lingerie in a small enough size for Candice she will have to go to a children's outfitter for her 'smalls'.

Worried scientists are worried that Candice is a 'synthetic alien being' who is not of this world but she was the result of an alien abduction when her mother had 'an out of body experience' and was artificially inseminated with alien semen.

Make dutch's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 4?

3 14 5 19
100 readers are online right now!

Go to top