Written by Waskily Wabbit
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Saturday, 2 April 2011

Today a Kansas city Turnpike was the seen of a horrific disaster, as a seen out of Apocalypse Now or some other god awful war scene epic. Highway 635 was held up after a 3pm pile up of massive SUV's and one Toyota Scion. As the survivors were questioned and traffic diverted, one lone suspect was ruled as the beginning of the traffic carnage, Rebecca Black.

It seems as the school day was ending, hundreds of chatty teen stricken parents were on their way to pick up these bratty sub-adults when for no other apparent reason they all as if by suicidal pact, began driving so erratically, and as if in a group effort, collided with each other simultaneously when the song "Friday" began blaring in their car speakers.

The Scion driver was the only innocent bystander in to be consumed in this horrific if not inevitable accident. His MP3 player was still playing Arcade Fires latest album release. It was noted by other vehicle operators at the time that he was so engrossed with the engaging melody that he took no notice of the insanity ensuing behind, to the left and just over the top of him.

We warn adults and every free thinking individual with exceptional IQ and above average common sense to not listen to any radio station that may have the habit of playing current hits as this song may creep into your ears and drive you senselessly mad. God, it makes you want to listen to country music!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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