Written by Gail Farrelly
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Friday, 1 April 2011

image for Missing Cobra Found at the Bronx Zoo; Oprah Invites Her to Chicago
She's baaaaaaack!

The snake captured the attention of the world when she was on the run for six days. But Thursday morning, she herself was captured when Bronx Zoo officials found her in a corner of the Reptile House.

"I was hoping to see the world but never quite made it out of the Reptile House," the defiant cobra admitted to reporters, adding, "they say there's no place like home, but it's kind of boring here."

Zoo officials have claimed that the cobra spent Thursday afternoon resting. Baloney!

Gail Farrelly, an investigative reporter for The Spoof, was able to sneak into the Reptile House after hours on Thursday and score the first interview with the captured snake. The cobra told Farrelly that she had been really busy all day working her cell phone, fielding offers from a variety of media outlets. She made a commitment to appear on "Oprah" in May and is looking forward to visiting Chicago.

The snake's agent is still working on deals for appearances on "Live with Regis and Kelly," "Good Morning America," and "The Howard Stern Show." A TV movie is in the works, and she may publish her autobiography if she can find a suitable ghostwriter to do the work. She's also considering an offer to appear in a new series for Animal Planet. Tentative title? "The Fugitive, 2011."

The cobra told Farrelly that her one big disappointment was that she hadn't remained free long enough to slither over to Yankee Stadium for Opening Day. "I'm a big Yankee fan," she confided, but I was stuck watching the game on TV. Bummer!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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