Written by Asheville Jack
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Wednesday, 30 March 2011

image for Arizona Law Makes English the Official Texting While Driving Language
It's from Jan Brewer and says "pull over."

Phoenix, AZ - The Arizona Legislature today overwhelmingly passed the "English Only Texting While Driving" law. The new state law would make it illegal in Arizona to text in any language other than English while operating motor vehicles on state roads.

The law, another in the series of "Taking America Back" by the Republican controlled Legislature, would compliment the recently passed "Talking Only in English on Your Cell Phone While Driving" law. Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer recently signed that law into effect and promises to add her signature to the latest law within days.

"The illegal non-English speaking people of Arizona need to learn to respect the centuries old historical significance of English in this part of the world,." said the Governor, adding that she didn't want to infringe upon the God given right to text or talk on a cell phone while driving, noting that the new laws would only make it a crime if any language was spoken other than English.

Taken together these laws effectively make English the official driving language in Arizona. The Governor also noted that under the new laws Hispanic drivers pulled over by police for traffic violations and who can't communicate in English but are in possession of a cell phone will be required to speak in English anyways. Drivers unable to speak in English would have their cell phones confiscated and then be turned over to ICE for processing and possible deportation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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