Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: Washington, drinking

Monday, 26 September 2005

image for President George Bush Drinking Again!
Bush getting nasty drunk...

WASHINGTON (AP) Under withering political pressure, George Bush has been sneaking shots of whiskey to try to calm his nerves. With the entire country finally figuring out that George Bush is the most inept president since Hoover, Mr. Bush has begun the long slippery slope back down into the alcoholism of his earlier years.

The President has on various occasions slipped out of the White House and made his way into various bars in the district. One Secret Service agent took a picture of the bar where President Bush spent two hours getting plastered just after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.

The agent allowed a Spoof reporter a glimpse at the picture since the President no longer goes there.


By the time President Bush found out that Mike Brown was fast asleep at the wheel at FEMA, he was already hiding bottles of booze right in the Oval Office. The White House wine steward showed us a picture of one of the closets adjoining the Oval Room. As you can see, there's not much wine there…


At a recent press conference, President George Bush showed up looking and acting quite drunk. Slurring his words more than usual, Bush was unable to answer direct questions from the Press Pool regarding his recent fall from the wagon. "Mr. President, is it true that you have been drinking again?"

"Well, that's a very good question. I'm glad you asked that question… now what was the question again?" At that moment, President Bush slipped under the podium for a brief moment, and then came back up licking his lips.


"As you all know, being President is hard work. I was in the midst of chopping a big pile of wood down at The Ranch, when they told me that I had to go all the way to Louisiana and Mississippi--- two of my least favorite places, you know. But I felt it was my duty to bring my short 6-week vacation to an end and see what I could do to help all the good folks that were up to their necks in doo-doo. Yup, I saw ‘em right out of my window on Air Force One. You know, one good thing about that Air Force One is the open bar… and they don't even keep a tab going for me. This is a wonderful country!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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