Cleveland, OH - Rodger Ailes of Dawson, Ohio, woke up to quite the surprise Thursday morning when he found a super hot glowing chunk of metal in his backyard. It was quickly identified by local authorities as the radioactive core of a Japanese Nuclear reactor damaged beyond control in a huge earthquake earlier this year.
A large crowd quickly gathered as police worked feverishly to cordon off the site, fearing that high levels of radiation might make some in the crowd sick. Mr. Ailes, in the mean time, wasted no time capitalizing on his new found fame, appearing on almost every major television network except for Lifetime, which chose to run a "Little House on The Prairie" Marathon instead.
If you want to see the melted core in person you had better hurry because even as you read this the core has started to sink again.
"It will make it's way back and forth between Japan and Ohio several times before finally settling at the earth's core." explained Doctor Fulcrum of the Nuclear Regulatory Agency. "It's an Ideal way to demonstrate a major scientific theory and, of course, it's a big thrill for the kiddies."