The wire services are reporting today that a robot will be the GOP nominee for president in 2012!
The Koch brothers, long known as the principal backers of the conservatives in the GOP, have contracted with IBM to develop a robot similar to Watson, the robot that competed successfully on the Jeopardy quiz program.
It hasn't been a secret that the Koch's were not satisfied with the current field of candidates and are willing to spare no expense to have a candidate of their choice. Apparently, Bubba or Barbie is the candidate of their dreams. The robot can morph into an attractive, dark haired, well-built female on command.
The robo-candidate made its first appearance over the weekend at the Iowa Conservative Caucus. First reports are that Bubba/Barbie was a resounding success. Leaked memos from Koch Industries state that the robot has all the knowledge in the world and can speak seven languages including hillbilly. It is, however, to exhibit only an eighth grade education and knowledge of US history dating back to 2001.
When morphed into Barbie, it can wink, smile, make outrageous statements, criticize the media, and ask for an investigation of the Democrats in the US Congress. The Bubba morph looks quite similar to Haley Barbour with hair like Donald Trump and a smirk like Newt Gingrich. The robo's can speak with total knowledge of the bible with the exception of the words, "Thou shall not kill," and "blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth."
MSNBC reports that there was only one glitch in the robo's first appearance over the weekend. It malfunctioned when the female robo was closing her remarks and kept repeating the words, "Obama is Beelzebub, Obama is Beelzebub."
The technicians frantically tried to shut down the voice, then realized the crowd was joining in the chant. They turned up the volume until the entire crowed was on its feet screaming, "Obama is Beelzebub, Obama is Beelzebub." At this point, several handlers escorted the robo off the stage.
A reporter standing near the Koch brothers heard David say ts Charles, "Well, I think we have our candidate!"
Charles replied, "Yep."
David: "It's a go then!"
David: "Will we have the anatomically correct blow-up doll ready for marketing in time for the primaries?"
Charles winked at his brother, smiled, and said in a falsetto voice, "You betcha!"