It was a moment the world was waiting for as President Obama prepared to take the stage in what some have described as his shining moment as he prepared to discuss recent actions involving on again off again actions involving middle east unrest and chaos.
What the world would see, after 9 days of allegedly intense behind the scenes practice with his dance instructor, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, was a bumbling walk through routine delivered with little fervor, and certainly a lot less rhythm one would expect from a President dubbed 'The Magic Negro" by a liberal West Coast reporter.
Declining to address the nation from the Oval Office over the Libyan fiasco, and a half hour before Prime Time knowing full well the nation would be watching more more professional performances and certainly better commercials than those for his re election, Obama appeared before a tough crowd, members of the American Military who were not allowed to ask questions, applaud, or for that matter vote on his performance.
As if to further distance himself from the highest office in the world, Obama chose the venue as if to say, "See, it's not about our history and our Constitution, It's all about ME...I could have given this little talk in a Waffle House and some of you would still tune in!"
The judges were not so kind however, as Obama opened his act with the "Tunisian Two Step" bringing his audience up to date on his reasoning to intervene in Libya after remaining mum for 10 days while the battle ebbed and flowed, and people were killed while the world was forced to watch in horror.
Sensing he was losing the interest of his audience, Obama changed tempo to the consternation of the judges and swung into a Fox Trot, explaining the US was now responsible for saving thousands of lives from death by Quaddaffy, our former trading partner, loyal supporter against terrorism, and the recipient of over $1.2B a year in Foreign Aid to 'insure peace in the region."
As the Audience moved restlessly in their seat and judge Bruno Tonili appeared to be suffering from severe hemorrhoids, Obama signaled the band, and immediately swung into what he labeled his favorite dance step, "The Shuck and Jive" which he used successfully in his run up to the 2008 Presidential election and brought millions of formerly uncommitted and unconcerned voters to the polls on the promise of a utopia where no one had to work, and everyone shared equally in the spoils of the land.
With his act almost completed, Obama slipped seamlessly into the "Cha Cha Cha" and left unanswered all of the questions America and the World wanted addressed.
Not waiting for the judges review Obama exited stage left saying he had other pressing engagements waiting for him, not the least of which was handicapping the Final Four, ducking out into the street for a fag,(sic), and helping Michelle pick out her new Spring Ward Robe.
Judge Carrie Ann Inaba gave the President a 2 saying she was confused. "He said we were in Libya bombing to protect the slaughter of helpless civilians. By introducing the Cha Cha does this mean we're going to start bombing in Mexico...there's 35,000 dead there!"
Len Goodman gave him a 1. "I'm pretty upset with him. He never mentioned the defense of Israel once and proved once again he has two LEFT feet!"
Bruno Tonioli voted "Present", something Obama should be comfortable with as he did it dozens of time during his very short tenure as a US senator. "I don't think he really cares for the routine of being President," said a stern Tonili, " it's clear he doesn't believe in practice, he's out of shape, he sure ain't got no rhythm, he tires easily in the 4th quarter when the game's on the line, and he don't know how to go to the basket...he seems content to stand around on the baseline waving his arms and calling it a great DEFENSE!"
As operators stood by waiting for the phone to ring from a dazed and confused audience, Obama could be heard off in the wings:
'PRACTICE.....PRACTICE.....YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT PRACTICE?"
(Ed Note: with apology to Allen Iversen)
Meanwhile, operators stood by to tally phone voting from the TV audience.