Written by Don Fulsom

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Topics: Natalie Portman

Monday, 28 March 2011

In a nasty tirade again the real ballerina who doubled for her in Black Swam, Natalie Portman estimated that the double did only about 70% of the dances-not 80%, as the double claims.

"That clumsy tart should not have been allowed in any of the scenes," said Portman. "She's just lucky I got pregnant and could not bend stretch properly for some of the harder pirouettes."

Portman added: "My dumb double was only a high school dropout. I went to Harvard and normally wear glasses to accentuate my brilliance."

Portman's director came to he defense, saying "Natalie sweated long and hard to deliver a great physical and emotional performance.

And I don't want anyone to think that's not her they are watching.

It is.

For about 30 % of the time.

C'mon, give a gal a break.

She's a pregnant woman under stress because a politician-Mike Huckabee-condemned her for not being married.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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