Written by dutch
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Monday, 28 March 2011

image for "Trouser Snake" is Now Flying Solo After Embarrassing Party Speech By Biel
He should keep his 'one eyed snake' in his trousers from now on.

It has emerged that love rat Justin Timberlake has split with 'on-off' girlfriend Jessica Biel after she threw an 'awkward' party for him and gave a gushing speech. In her eulogy Biel admitted when she first fancied Justin she 'stalked him' for weeks and was obsessed with him.

At the end of her homily there was an awkward silence and Timberlake said , "Come on you bitches let's party." It was an extremely embarrassing situation for the assembled guests and it was obvious that 'Trouser Snake' was not that into her.

A few weeks later the celebrity couple split up and poor Jessica is 'distraught' and can not believe how shallow Timberlake has been.

After she admitted 'stalking' Timberlake guys have looked at her askance and have been wary around her in case she develops a crush on them. Friends of Biel have admitted that she had already had one 'bunny boiling' incident with a boy she was 'sweet' on a high school when she 'trashed' his car when he did ask her to go to the prom with him.

Friends of Timberlake have given him their support and have said, "trouser snake is flying solo again."

Girls have privately admitted that they found Biel's admission of 'stalking' Timberlake as 'scary' and have said if they had done such a thing they would never have let the guy know.

Jessica Biel's best 'friends' have said that she shouldn't have publicly admitted that he didn't want to sleep with her the moment he clapped eyes upon her. It is known that with guys they like to be the 'hunter' and not the pursued.

Britney was 'spaced out' when she heard the news but said, "Trouser Snake betrayed me too and left me high and dry". She is said to feel empathy for Biel and her feelings of humiliation. Britney has said that she felt like a 'piece of trash' when he finished with her and that's when she fell into the slippery slope of addiction and depression.

The pop singer said, "Trouser Snake is a slimy reptilian 'low-life' and should keep his 'one eyed snake' in his trousers from now on."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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