Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Weather, Driving

Sunday, 25 September 2005

image for Preventing Hurricanes
Fooling with mother nature?

Studies find that hurricanes such as Katrina and Rita, are being treated in the incorrect way. The evacuation of people, driving to higher ground, covering windows with plywood, reporters bent sideways by the wind assessing weather conditions; appears as though Anderson Cooper's hair is turning black. Scientists should reassess the hurricane situation and react in a more aggressive way by grabbing the bull by the horns. True, mother nature may be mother nature, but kids have a way with mothers.

Recent extreme hurricanes were caused by global warming raising the temperature of the gulf waters by a degree or two. Simple. Why not lower the temperature of the gulf waters? Yes, fuel efficient automobiles and less air travel are proposed solutions for the future, (which is actually here) but what about preventing the next hurricane? Consider cooling the waters by just one degree and think of an ice cube. Ice cubes traditionally cool a cocktail, lemonade and water on a hot day. Graduate to giant blocks of ice flown in by helicopters and just plain dumped into the hot water zones of the gulf. Think lots of helicopters and lots of blocks of ice. Just bomb the daylights out of the gulf waters with ice.

Something similar was managed half way around the world in Iraq using dynamite. What about adding a little "shock and awe" to those warm waters by dropping refrigerated freight trains fitted with waterproof, battery operated generators, Blackhawked to the enemy zone and dumped into the sea. Should cool down the warm waters, take the vinegar out of future Ritas, leave the area with maybe just a bad rainstorm, but no flooded cities or broken levies, clogged highways, stranded refugees, people losing lives, homes, jobs and Anderson Cooper looking more like Antonio Banderas.

Silly notion? Pie in the sky? Something resembling a Rube Goldberg idea? Stephen King fiction? How many millions did it cost the government to shoot a rocket into a meteor a few months ago to essentially see, hummmm, what would happen? "That was great science," scientists universally assessed. Dumping ice in the gulf waters makes more sense and could have beneficial results.

So how ticked off would mother nature become? Giant squid? Yummy. Man size lobsters? Melt the butter. No more extreme hurricanes or reporters bent side ways? Sounds good. Anderson Cooper's hair turning white again?

Pass the ketchup.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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