NOGALES, Arizona - The chairwoman of The Lower 48 Tea Bag Party, Sarah Louise Palin was in town speaking at a Happy Holiday Hotel meeting room before the annual convention of The Gila Monster Breeders of Arizona.
The organization which was founded in 1949, has grown from a membership of 7 all the way up to 29.
Palin talked a little bit about the history of the Gila Monster which is the official Arizona State Monster.
It replaced the slow-moving Grand Canyon Lavender Listless Lazy Lizard which is now extinct since they were all eaten up by the bigger, faster, mean-as-hell Gila Monsters.
Palin giggled as she said that at times she kind of feels like a Gila Monster herself, except of course for the fact that she doesn't have four legs, a harsh weather-beaten skin, and the ability to slither across hot, scorching, desert sand at speeds of up to 13 miles per hour.
She did grin a bit as she said that like the Gila Monster she does however, have one hell of a long tongue.
When one of the 29 Gila Monster breeders asked her what she thought about President Obama taking a trip down to South America she got a look of surprised surprise on her overly cosmeticized face.
"Obie's in South America?" She screamed out like a crazed Banshee who had just hit the big "O."
She then said that she was sorry but that she was going to have to cut her speech short so that she could fly on back down (sic) to Wasilla, Alaska and get ready for the 2012 presidential primaries.
When asked what in the world she was talking about "Snowflake" Palin replied that she had no idea that the 2012 Presidential Primaries had already started but if the president was campaigning in South America then he had unfairly jumped the gun and she would certainly be reporting him to the Better Business Bureau.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin's personal assistant Ling Ling Lang, stated that Mrs. Palin had gotten South America mixed up with South Carolina. She said that she swears that she heard someone say that the president was campaigning in the South Carolina Primary.]