Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Saturday, 26 March 2011

image for In A Shocking Development Heidi Montag's Wax Museum Figure Is Found To Be 80 Percent Plastic!
Two of the museums most popular wax figures Joan of Arc (L) and Marianne Faithfull (R). (Photo courtesy of Eric Clapton).

LONDON - The curator for London's premier Wax Museum has just issued a press release regarding their latest wax figure.

Tickety Boo News has reported the shocking story that the wax figure of American reality show participant Heidi Montag, unlike 97 percent of the wax figures is not 100 percent wax.

TBN has learned from an unnamed, inside source that Ms. Montag's wax figure is actually only 20 percent wax and 80 percent plastic.

Neville Twickenbuck of TBN stated that he spoke to the museum's assistant curator Sir Emerson Ribbingham and he pointed out that although it is very rare, the Heidi Montag wax figure does fall within accepted rules, regulations, and guidelines.

He did stress that as of yet they have not received any complaints from any of the museum visitors. He went on to say that in order for anyone to really be able to ascertain that the Montag figure is not 100 percent wax one would have to literally be standing right next to the wax figure.

Ribbingham further added that even then one could still not really be able to tell unless one were to actually lick a part of the wax figures 'skin' which is of course grounds for not only be expelled from the museum but for being arrested as well.

Sir Emerson was asked if now that people know that the Ms. Montag wax figure is only 20 percent wax if he feels that some of the customers may request a refund of their paid admission price.

Sir Emerson giggled in a Cockney accent and said that they can request all they like, but that museum policy is clearly written in 4 point font at the very bottom of each admission ticket that this is not Broadway and that refunds do not exist.

Tickety Boo News wants to state that there is no truth to the rumor that the wax figure of one of country music legend Dolly Parton's tata's is missing. Although it is true that the figure is missing three fingers on her left hand, she does in fact still possess both of her quite ample knockers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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