Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 24 March 2011

image for Bikini-Clad "Sista" Wreaks Havoc At A Burger Kingdom Restaurant In Panana City, Florida.
"Bikini Sista" ended up with about five ketchup packets in her mouth.

PANAMA CITY, Florida - A woman identified as Kimesia LaMeana Smithereens absolutely went ballistic at a Burger Kingdom Restaurant located in the beautiful Gulf of Mexico beach paradise of Panama City, Florida.

The restaurant manager identified as Jamal Toby Funderspoon said that an employee informed him, as he was in his office counting a bag full of money, that a woman clad in a bikini swimsuit, that was two sizes too small, was upset because she had ordered a Triple Whopper with Cheese and she had instead received a Double Whopper with Cheese.

Funderspoon immediately asked if the woman in question was of color. When told that she was Funderspoon, who is a man of color, shook his head and remarked under his breath 'Oh Lordy please, please help me out on this one.'

When Funderspoon got to the counter he instantly saw that quite a crowd had congregated at the counter and he quickly noticed Miss Smithereens holding her Double Whopper with Cheese and brandishing it around like a Samurai sword.

Right away he hollered out for her to put the Double Whopper with Cheese down before someone got hurt. Smithereens ignored him and tossed the burger at him, missing him but hitting the French fry girl, Mimosa Vonzell Washington on her name tag.

The bikini clad woman then grabbed a drinking straw dispenser and tossed it at Funderspoon who ducked and watched as the DST hit another employee, lettuce chopper Trevon Kanye Alabama, 68.

Mr. Alabama, a United States marine who had fought in the Vietnam War and was wounded twice at Khe Sanh picked up a head of lettuce and tossed it at Miss Smithereens like quarterback Michael Vick tossing a bullet pass to wide receiver Riley Cooper.

Smithereesn ducked and the head of lettuce hit Ida Prudence Giddybird, 97, of Apalachicola, Florida, who just happened to be the only non-black customer in the entire restaurant.

Immediately she hollered out "And that's precisely why I cannot stand folks like Star Jones, Kanye West, Dionne Warwick, O.J. Simpson, Cocoa Puffs Diddy, and that "Queen of Mean" beatch Naomi Campbell."

"Bikini Sista" then hopped up on the counter and picked up a napkin dispenser and took out all of the napkins tossing them all over the place. About 17 napkins landed in the cooking vat holding the onion rings.

The restaurant's assistant manager identified as Tiara Flominda Winfrey, a full-figured girl who stands 6 foot 4 inches tall and weighs 275 pounds, asked the manager if he wanted for her to tackle the bitch before she ended up hurting one of the restaurant employees or customers.

Mr. Funderspoon told Tiara Flominda to go for it. And like a Green Bay Packer linebacker TiaFlo leaped at Smithereens knocking her off of the counter and onto some toddler booster chairs.

TiaFlo then proceeded to stick a handy Spicy Chicken Crisp Sandwich and five packets of Heinz Ketchup in Kimesia LaMeana's mouth. She put her in a head lock and the police soon arrived.

As "Bikini Sista" was being led out of the restaurant in handcuffs she could be heard yelling out, "But offasuzz all's I wanted ta knows was where da hell my effen tud piece of meat be at, dat's all I was tryin to acertainicise (sic)."

Kimesia LaMeana has been banned from ever again setting foot in any Burger Kingdom Restaurant in the entire nation, including the ones in Harlem, Watts, and Detroit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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