Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 23 March 2011

image for Elizabeth Taylor to be buried at Glendale 'next to Michael Jackson and Jane Fonda'
Taylor battled addiction to booze, fags and getting married

Los Angeles - In a plot reserved many years ago Oscar winning diva Ms Taylor will be sandwiched at Glendale Cemetery in between Jackson and the 'because I'm worth it' face cream promoting Ms Fonda.

Taylor died early this morning at the Seedy-Sinai hospital following eight gruelling marriages to seven leading men - and an almost unbearable weight of tens of kilos of bling on her voluptuous chest.

Her fabulous jewellery collection forms the ballast of a multi-million dollar Last Will & Testament, to be fought over by her surviving four children and nine grandchildren.

The news of her death today saw Hampstead locals lay flowers close to the North London house where Taylor was born in 1932.

Local legend has it she was the adopted daughter of US residents Francis Lenn Taylor (1897-1968) and Sara Viola Warmbrodt Taylor (1895-1994), whose own baby daughter died at birth.

A Blue Plaque outside 8 Wildwood Road London NW3 commemorating the actress' nativity now props up a nest of starlings, the first to hatch before the Spring Equinox.

Zsa Zsa Gabor is 101.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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