There has been shock news that a Big Foot in Alaska has mated with Bristol Palin and she is expecting a baby in the summer.
The Big Foot are huge hairy humanoids that bear some resemblance to grizzly bears but they mate like human beings and are able to have sex with humans.
These gentle shy beasts live in the North West of the United States and they are also known as 'yeti' or as the 'abominable snowman'. The beasts are very 'well hung' and have huge feet.
Bristol said that she was just out on the trail near her parents cabin and she walked through the pine forest and got lost. When she walked into a clearing she saw lots of 'big hairy men' with enormous 'winkies'. It didn't take much persuasion for the The Dancing With the Stars star to perform some 'dirty dancing'.
The Big Foot had incredibly good looks and were very sexy and extremely well endowed. Bristol hadn't had such a happy little canter since Dancing With The Stars and thought she had died and gone to heaven as these big hairy men were 'insatiable'.
A few weeks later Bristol discovered that she was expecting and did not know whether her baby would be 'hirsute' and looking like a 'Big Foot'. He mom went ballistic and said 'Haven't you brought enough shame already on this family'. Pistol slinging mom Sarah went out with her shot-gun to see if she could track down these randy humanoids but the trail had gone cold and all she could find were a lot of huge footprints and a few empty packets of Twinkies which Bristol had purloined from her mom's cabin for her new friends.
Doctors have not said what the half-human and half big-foot baby will look like but a scan showed that it was growing well and was very healthy. Sarah does not know if she will be able to take the new baby to Pre-School and is worried that the hirsuteness of the child will prevent it from having a happy child-hood. The local kindergarten has said that it can't admit the big-foot baby in case it is a danger to the other children.
However, one day last week Bristol disappeared from the cabin where she had been living in disgrace and has fled to find the father of her child. The wild-child is said to be somewhere in the Big Foot Compound in the mountains where there is a pine stockade where all the hairy men and their families hang out.
Bristol said that after having sex with a Big Foot it had 'spoiled' her for sex with a man. She said that the Big Foot were 'well hung' and had a little tongue inside their penises which could satisfy a woman as no mere human man could.
Sarah has said that she is afraid for her daughter and her grandchild but does not know what to do. she admitted that she had been 'too strict' with Bristol when she was a child and she had rebelled against her disciplinarian approach.
Other young girls have also gone looking for some 'action' with the incredibly handsome Big Foot men and have been leaving their panties and used tampons around up pine trees to try and attract the big hairy men.
Naturalists have claimed that there have been very few confirmed sighting of Big Foot and they wonder if the Big Foot of the French settlers who first came to Boise two hundred years ago to harvest the trees from the forest. Some of the woodman went 'native' and bred with the local native Indians. It is speculated that these Big Foot are a throw back to over two hundred years ago and have developed differently from other Americans whose genes have been diluted in the gene pool.
Scientists have admitted that they would love to get some 'blood samples' from these Big Foot and capture a specimen and run lots of scientific tests to find out how the Big Foot developed differently from other homo-sapiens.
Sarah has said that she does not want her daughter and 'grand child' back as she is 'dying' of embarrassment at what her daughter has done. She was hoping that Bristol would marry a scion of the Kennedy family and instead she has run off with a big hairy Big-Foot without a job or a college education.