Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 24 March 2011

image for Lindsay Lohan's Dad Arrested in West Hollywood For Being Lindsay Lohan's Dad!
Michael Lohan's double-wide trailer is located behind the house shown in the photo.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The father of one of Hollywood's most troubled little divas, Lindsay Lohan has stated that he wants to be given power of attorney in order to control the millions of dollars that his daughter has in her checking account.

Michael Lohan, a former James Caan lookalike, told members of the Hollywood press that he is concerned that his way out-of-control daughter Lindsay, aka LiLo, aka Freckles, aka Fruit Loop, may squander off her assembled bags and bags of money by buying drinks for everyone when she goes out.

The elder Lohan noted that he has heard that his daughter has even purchased underwear for perfect strangers she has met on the streets of West Hollywood, Hollywood, La Brea, and Avocado Heights.

Mr. Lohan, who himself is no stranger to the fine line of the law, has had more than his share of run in's with the West Hollywood Sheriff's Department.

Just in the past two months alone sheriff's deputies have been called to the double-wide trailer that he shares with his girlfriend Kate "The Great" Major.

Major is a former reporter, who interviewed and fell in love with none other than Jon "Mr. 3 Inches" Gosselin. After a fling of several weeks Jon dumped her.

Rumors have been circulating throughout the Left Coast that if Michael Lohan dumps her, she may next decide to make a play for Tiger "The Dick With Feet" Woods.

Kate "The Great" certainly meets the "Tiger Ho" requirements. She is young, blonde, not very well off financially, blonde, slender, bosomy, and blonde.

Officer Chipper Dapplewillow with the WHSD stated to USA DAYBREAK that officers have responded to the double-wide trailer in question three times for domestic violence, two times for imported impunity, four times for deported vigilance, and twice for implied implications.

Michael Lohan has denied all of these saying that it must have been the tequila.

USA DAYBREAK is reportedly reporting that Michael Lohan has just been arrested on grounds of simply being Lindsay Lohan's dad and they are considering making him an accomplice to the millions and millions of dollars that Lindsay Lohan has cost the taxpayers of Los Angeles County with her basic immaturity which her mother says she definitely got from her father's side of the family.

Meanwhile Lindsay is still denying that she stole the $2,500 necklace. She is keeping to her story that the jewelry store surveillance video was photoshopped.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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