Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: Death, Kids, Aspartame

Saturday, 19 March 2011

image for Waffle iron claims family of ten
Allentown police confimed aspartame and never gas were present

Allentown, PA - A family of ten in central Allentown is deceased due to a waffle iron left plugged in. According to Constable Finass of Allentown, the Schinerkraut family all died due to a deadly combination of deadly neural-toxins.

Mrs. Schinerkraut, mother of eight children living with the family, failed to follow the directions to use the Teflon coated waffle iron in a well ventilated area. As the waffle iron had been dropped, damaging the thermostat, it over-heated, releasing deadly nerve-gas. That, combined with the high aspartame levels in the syrup the family consumed led to sudden brain death.

Prior to death, the family members acted in a demented manner, writing with lipstick all over the walls of the home. Each corpse bore a silly grin, as is commonly seen in Bovine encephalitis - mad cow diseae.

Written on the walls, "Leggo my Eggo!".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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