President Obama, exuding confidence that his March Madness basketball picks might win him a free holiday in Hawaii, announced today that he felt good about his choices, selecting Kansas to go all the way. Then, with his family in tow for a three day vacation in Rio, he mentioned that he had just ordered the nuclear powered carrier, the USS Reagan, to take out the "radiation filth spewing" nuclear power plants at Fukushima, Japan with the Reagan's nuclear armed missiles.
Until now, the President had been preoccupied with going over scouting reports and talking to Charles Barkley about his thoughts on who would make it to the Final Four. At last, free to get back to the pressing issues of the World, he suggested his choice to bombard these out-of-control generators was actually less daunting then making his selections.
Pausing to straighten his tie, he glanced at his WWRD (What Would Reagan Do) bracelet, and said that he had always admired the former president and thought it ironic that the carrier named for Reagan would be used to vaporize Japan. "Hopefully, if this backfires, the liberal press will blame him and not me."
Then, climbing into Air Force One, he gave the "V" sign with his fingers and yelled, "ROCK CHALK JAY HAWK!"