Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 16 March 2011

image for Rapper 50 Cent Refused Admission To A Japanese Restaurant Because of His Anti Earthquake-Tsunami "Jokes"
A 50 Cent coin aka Curtis James Jackson, III. (Photo Courtesy of The Rush Limbaugh Collection).

QUEENS, New York - The gangsta rapper who goes by the name of 50 cent got his nose all bent out of shape when he was refused admittance to The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Japanese Restaurant in Queens.

According to The Right Coast Illustrated Revue Curtis James Jackson, III, aka 50 cent, was refused entrance by the restaurant's 6 foot 8 inch head of security Hiroki Gollyweiser.

When the "Half Dollar" asked why he would not be allowed inside he was told that the management and the entire staff did not appreciate him making his Gilbert Gottfried smut type jokes about the victims of the Japanese earthquake and tsunami.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: 50 Cent stated that the tsunami was serious and that he had to evacuate all of his ho's from L.A., Hawaii, and Japan.]

50 Cent said that he only made that remark and others for the 'Shock Value.' When asked why he would want to shock anyone with such cruel remarks Jackson looked down at the thousands of dollars of bling bling on his chest and answered, "Because dat's just da way I be's...dat's what 50 Cent fans 'spect from me and dat's why I says what I says when I says it."

Mr. Gollyweiser did not buy the 5 cent worth of crapola that 50 Cent put out.

Jackson then told Gollyweiser that back in 2000 he had been shot nine times and that showed that he needs to be treated with some respect, especially since he is a native of Queens.

He then added that he has sold millions and millions of hip hop, rip rap, gangsta grunge records including "How To Rob," "How To Be Bitch Slappin' On Da Bitches," "How To Make Da Ho's Do What Da Eff Dey S'pose Ta Be Doin'," and one of his biggest hits, "Jimmy Crack Corn Be One Upset Bro 'Cause His Crack Ho She Don't Be Givin' One Bling-Blinging Friggin Damn Fa Shizzle Ma Nizzle Shitola."

Gollyweiser was unimpressed and remarked that if he did not leave the front of the restaurant he was going to do one of two things; either call the police or pick up his 50 Cent ass and toss him in the restaurant's dumpster located in the side alley.

50 Cent left muttering something to the effect that, that's the last time he's going to be making a remark about the weather.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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