Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 16 March 2011

image for Since Gilbert Gottfried Has Had His Can Canned, The Aflac Duck Is Looking For A New Voice
Gilbert Gottfried may end up going back to playing little venue's like The Billy The Kid Bar & Grill in Tucson.

LOS ANGELES - The Aflac Insurance Company's television mascot, The Aflac duck, is now in search of a new voice.

The man who provided the Aflac duck's voice, Gilbert Gottfried has been fired for his inhumanely cruel tweets and viciously vile jokes about the Japanese people involved in the devastating earthquake and subsequent tsunami.

Brubaker B. Candlebox a spokesperson for the insurance giant, whose Japanese accounts make up 70 percent of their business, said that he was shocked that any supposedly educated adult male could stoop so low as to make such atrociously deplorable remarks, and such offensively vicious statements and then back pedal and try to pass them off as simple, casual humor.

Candlebox wondered if the Jewish comedian (Gottfried) would appreciate hearing another comedian make tweets and jokes about the Jewish victims of Hitler's atrocities in the Nazi concentration camps during World War II.

USA DAYBREAK has reported that Gottfried did respond to the statement by remarking that sticks and stones may break his bones but words will never hurt him.

Mr. Candlebox responded by saying, "Well if that's the case then perhaps the time has come to hit Mr. 'Foot In Mouth' Gottfried with sticks and stones."

The Aflac Insurance Company is asking that anyone who is interested in possibly becoming the new voice of the Aflac duck please contact them at www.thetalkingduck.yum

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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