Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

image for Gilbert Gottfried Has Just Joined Bernie Madoff and Governor Scott Walker As The Three Most Hated Men In America
The original Aflack Duck, Mr. Quackers. (Photo from the private collection of Ozzy Osbourne).

WEST COVINA, California - Sitting in his apartment in West Covina, Gilbert Gottfried, the voice of the Aflack Duck, was shocked to hear that he has been fired by the insurance giant.

Gottfried had what many consider to be the easiest job in the history of jobs where he got paid large sums of money to merely utter the word "Aflack!" in the insurance company television commercials.

And so he now joins the incarcerated "Ponzi Scheme" con artist Bernie Madoff and the anti-union governor Scott Walker as one of the three most hated males in the entire nation.

Brubaker B. Candlebox, 49, a spokesperson for the huge insurance company stated that Mr. Gottfried's jokes about the Japanese earthquake, tsunami, and food were extremely hurtful, insensitive, and tasteless (no pun intended).

He went on to say that there are 195 countries in the world that Mr. Gottfried could have chosen to make fun of but Japan is certainly not one of them.

Mr. Candlebox noted that Mr. Gottfried could have picked on Iceland, Uruguay, or even Luxembourg.

The company spokesperson went on to say that he received text messages from all 12 Major League Baseball players of Japanese descent who are currently playing in America asking that "Big Mouth" Gilbert be fired.

Even Chinese actor Jackie Chan said that if he sees Gottfried walking down the street he is going to put some martial arts hurt on him that even his grandmother Gertrude "Pickles" Gottfried, who lives in Possum Balls, Arkansas is going to feel.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The so called jokes that Mr. Gottfried made are so cruel, mean, and tasteless that there is just no way that they can be repeated here. To see Gottfried's street gutter attempt at humor go to www.pileofgottfriedcrapola.sic]

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

9 3 12 21

Go to top