Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 11 March 2011

image for Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel Split - He Says He Dumped Her, She Says She Dumped Him
Jessica Biel shown in a recent interview she did with Left Coast Mirror Magazine.

LOS ANGELES - The once happy couple has told the entertainment media that they are no longer happy or a couple.

Speaking from his rented beach house on Venice Beach, Timberlake said that after being together for three years he just decided to break up with Jessica for several reasons which he chose not to mention since he was going to take the high road.

Meanwhile Jessica speaking from her rented beach house in Redondo Beach stated that she dumped Justin because she just got tired of him constantly harping on the fact that he was no longer the most famous Justin on the planet.

Jessica pointed out that Timby's ego could just not fathom the thought that 17-year-old Justin Bieber had now become "The Justin."

Once Timberlake got wind of Biel's remark he quickly pointed out that there were two reasons why he had decided to dump her. The first was because he had told her that he wanted for her to have the tattoo located on the lower right side of her stomach removed.

He said that he did not like it because it was shaped like the state of Arizona which he does not care for.

Justin also added that Jessica has perhaps the longest tongue in the entire state of California. And he had been after her for the past two years to go in and have a tongue reduction procedure done to give her a more normal, ladylike looking tongue.

Jessica had refused to remove the tattoo or to get her tongue reduced in size. She noted that with her huge tongue it really helped her to break down and digest her food much quicker than normal and as a result she was able to keep her slim figure without hardly having to exercise at all.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Both Justin and Jessica recently sat down in the West Hollywood home of a mutual friend and agreed that they would not reveal anymore personal and intimate things about each other in order to keep from embarrassing the other as well as from having people looking at them at supermarkets and pointing at certain parts of their body and laughing.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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