Written by Charpa93
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: wisconsin, Governor

Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Scott Walker Begs Koch Brothers to Release Him from Pact
Scott Walker mulls over his options

While Scott Walker says he doesn't want to compare his relationship with the Koch Brothers as being akin to selling your soul to the devil, seeing as he's a devout Christian and all, his friends say he is feeling the heat being turned up on him and, like a rat in a maze, is trying to find a quick exit out of the Wisconsin morass.

The Koch Brothers' grip on Walker seems to be taking its toll on him as, whenever he tries to do the job the people of Wisconsin elected him to do, he's handed a new agenda and told to 'implement it or find a new job.'

"How else can you explain the extraordinary position Walker is taking on public employees' collective bargaining rights when there was absolutely no mention of it during the entire time he campaigned for office?" many protesters are asking. Why indeed?

One friend of Walkers' says he (Walker) won't admit it publicly, but has told friends that being someone's lackey isn't all it's cracked up to be. The money and the power are great, not to mention all those free lunches, but Walker worries constantly about the effect all this lying and deception is having on his karma. The friend then let out a huge belly laugh and said "sometimes I really crack myself up."

Meanwhile, folks like Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity are blaming the fight on the workers themselves whom, they say, make way more money than they should. "If a teacher can't get along on $20-25,000 a year, then they shouldn't be teaching our kids," says Coulter and explained further "by that, I mean America's kids, not mine, per se, because I don't have any."

Hannity agreed, "Overpaid teachers simply do not have the same work ethic as teachers who have to scrape together an existence. We want our kids in public schools to grow up knowing what it is to be hungry because that makes them fight harder in the working world. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out, does it, Ann?" Coulter agreed wholeheartedly while she pantomimed picking out members of the working class from between her teeth with a toothpick.

Then, getting up to leave, Coulter set a sideways glance at the clock and exclaimed, "Gotta run, Sean. David Koch meeting me for lunch in some back alley."

Make Charpa93's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

9 10 11 2

Go to top