Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 13 May 2011

image for Kristen Stewart To Appear As Snow White In The Film, "Snow White And The Horny Vampire Hunters of Hungary"
A door in Shoshoni, Wyoming that looks exactly like one in Pecs, Hungary.

LOS ANGELES - The word coming out of the motion picture studios at Miramix Pictures is that Kristen Stewart, the star of the Twilight movies series, will be portraying Snow White in the Charleen Belle Pinnzucker production of Snow White And The Horny Vampire Hunters of Hungary.

The classic fairy tale will be shot on location in Shoshoni, Wyoming which very much resembles Pecs, Hungary.

Pinnzucker sat down with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight and informed him that although Miss Stewart was her first choice to portray Snow White, Johnny Depp was not her first choice to portray Ali Gladiola leader of the band of horny vampire hunters.

She said that she wanted Orlando Bloom but he was in Wales making a World War I comedy with Kate Winslett, Kate Moss, and Kate Hudson.

Next she contacted Matthew McConaughey but he was in Bollywood making an X-rated horror musical with Cate Blanchett, Clay Aiken, Courtney Love, and Boo Boo Stewart.

And her third choice Hugh Jackman simply said that he was very superstitious and would not appear in a motion picture that dealt with vampires, goats, or boa constrictors.

Pinnzucker noted that Colin Farrell was indeed her first choice to portray the bumbling arrow maker Taurus Bibbidyboo.

The month of May is National Duckling Month except in Arizona where there are no ducks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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