WASHINGTON--President Bush has finally taken responsibility for federal government blundering in coping with Hurricane Katrina and the much delayed relief efforts and announced his resignation on Wednesday. He also admitted that the calamity was evidence of his government's inability to handle natural disasters or much of anything else.
"Katrina exposed serious inadequacies in our response capability at my level of government," Bush said at a White House news conference with Vice President Dick Cheney. "I and the rest of us here are responsible. Therefore, I'm resigning the American Presidency, and the rest of my Administration is doing likewise."
Bush and his White House were facing sharp criticism and the lowest approval ratings of his presidency. Bush scheduled the speech to the nation after being utterly shocked during his fourth trip to the devastated Gulf Coast since the storm struck two weeks ago.
Cheney also tendered his resignation, and admitted that Americans must be totally disgusted with the lousy relief efforts, as well as the corrupt dealings the Administration has had with big US corporations in Iraq and the Deep South, and so on.
"This presidency allowed 911 to happen just like we allowed the Katrina disaster to happen," regretted Cheney. "We also started two pointless wars under the guise of ‘fighting terrorism' when in reality all we wanted to do was grab foreign oil fields and defend the US dollar. Gosh, we've been naughty. I can't believe how bad we are."
Bush went on to state that he would be ending his faith as an evangelical Christian and would shortly be entering a Buddhist monastery in California "to seek peace, spiritual instruction and enlightenment."
"Zen Buddhism is the solution for me," he stated to shocked reporters.
Cheney said that he'd be seeking psychiatric help as well as moral and ethical counseling. Other Republican cabinet members and White House staff also promptly resigned.
Reacting to the mass resignations at the White House, Democratic Senator Robert Byrd said, "George Bush failed us with Katrina, just like he failed us in 911. The season has come for Americans to look homeward instead of continuing to spend billions of dollars in Iraq. We must turn away from all that Republican sleaze, have an election and a truly Democratic government."