Written by wadenelson
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Topics: Dogs, Cats

Monday, 12 September 2005

Jefferson Parish -- "Max," left behind on a rooftop, waited for a helicopter that never arrived. "After four days the Alpo ran out, and I had to drink that nasty toilet water along the edge of the roof. Eventually, I realized if I didn't save myself, I was gonna die in New Orleans."

According to "Max," he and "Scruffy," a rat terrier, started leaping from rooftop to rooftop, and raiding kitchens in the 9th Ward. "But don't call it looting. We only ate what we needed to survive. Yeah, okay, we had a few steaks in addition to dry dogfood, but they were going to spoil anyway."

A pack of Rottweilers and Dobermans gave "Max" and "Scruffy" two choices; join our pack or dogpaddle. . "These guys were rough, said Max. They showed no mercy when some poor looter came in to steal a TV. They chewed him to pieces. I just stayed at the back of the pack and tried to stay out of trouble. That's when the catnapping started."

A couple of Siamese twins in heat first atttracted the scent of "Dobie," a Basset hound. "Normally, we stick to our own species, but after accidentally knocking over and lapping up a bottle of Schnapps, Dobie was, well, kinda out of control. Guys started taking turns with the felines. At first, I said no, but, hey, it's New Orleans. Les Bon Temps Roulette, right?

And then the do-gooders started showing up, trying to get us into their boats and take everyone to shelters. I mean, "this is our home!, even more so now that there aren't any owners to tell us when we have to come home, not to sit on the sofa, and deciding when and how much we get to eat. One of the Rotties bit a National Guardsman, well, he's a floater now."

"As for me," said Max, "I'm still waiting for Animal control to come by and pick me up. It's getting pretty nasty around here, as bad as the Superdome. Ya know, I really kinda miss Timmy and my family.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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