Written by jimmy gosh
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Saturday, 10 September 2005

image for Jeff Gannon Tapped for FEMA Post
The next head of FEMA

White House Spokesperson Scott McClellan said today that Mike Brown's removal from the Hurricane relief effort was just the beginning. "We thought that Brownie's experience with the Arabian Horses Association would make him perfect for running FEMA's dog and pony show" explained McClellan. "But he is now about to be fired."

Mike Brown was shocked when he heard the comment. "But I haven't even started the job yet" he stammered. Asked what he would do after being let go, Brown explained "I've got a bottle of Tequila with my name on it. I'm going to hug my dog, walk my wife, and party like it's Mardi Gras!"

McClellan told reporters that the President hadn't picked Jeff Gannon as the replacement at first. "After all the talk in the press about Truman and 'the buck stops here,' the President suggested to staffers that they 'hire this Truman guy." It was explained to Bush that Truman was dead and Bush's response was "Damn this Hurrican Corrina!"

McClellan went on to explain that Jeff Gannon was the next choice. "He's much better at padding a resume" explained the President's spokesman. "And he (Gannon) at least had the good sense to use a fake name. That really could have come in handy for Brownie."

Asked how the relief effort was going, McClellan had nothing but praise. "The Astrodome has turned into such a cool, happening place that Barbara Bush has moved in with her whole family. Tom Delay was seeing spending the night and telling all around him 'this is just like camp!' And now we have reports that Trent Lott has built a Fantastic Fun House and has invited all of Mississippi to have a big party on the porch."

Asked what Jeff Gannon's first job as the new head of FEMA would be, McClellan explained that he would be very busy. "He is going to be spearheading a huge, enormous project that we hope will benefit the whole Bush Administration. I can't tell you much about it but we've called it Operation CYA."

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