KALAMAZOO, Michigan - President Barack Obama was in town speaking before a convention of Michigan's laid off auto workers.
The president informed those in attendance that he was going to try to do his best to try to get the American people to go out and buy new cars instead of just merely repairing the old ones they have.
He received a standing ovation as the laid of workers yelled out cliché slogans like "Rah, rah, rah," "Hip, hip, hooray," and "Sis, boom, bah."
President Obama brimmed with pride after the meeting as he stayed around for an hour shaking hands, signing autographs, and handing out coupons entitling the bearer to a 15 percent discount on their next order of KFC Buffalo Wings.
As the President and Mrs. Obama were being driven to the airport they were interviewed by Ashburton Wasabi of The Right Coast Illustrated Revue.
The president had known Wasabi ever since they had both played on the same T-ball team back in Honolulu.
Wasabi knowing that the Obama's are fans of American Idol asked if they had been watching the show this year. The president replied that he and Michelle and "First Daughters" Sasha and Malia had not missed a single episode.
He asked them who their favorite singers this year were. Michelle replied that of the females both daughters like Naima Adedapo and that her and her husband like Lauren Alaina, although she tends to cry way too damn much (Michelle's word).
Mrs. Obama said that Lauren kind of reminds her of the Speaker of The House John Boehner except that she wears a dress, uses way too much make up, and is about 14 pounds overweight.
And as for the males, although all four think that James Durbin will go far, the whole Obama family agrees that there is no one who can touch Compton, California's Jacob Lusk.
The president remarked, "Dammit Wasabi. Dude, did you see the little brother wail the other night? Wow! Man oh man, the fella gave me goose bumps and the last time anyone gave me goose bumps was back in 2004, when I was watching Super Bowl XXXVIII, and Janet Jackson had her wardrobe malfunction that caused her right nipple to pop out like old Punxsutawney Phil peeping out of his groundhog hole."
The president laughed and remarked, "But anyway, getting back to American Idol."
"Yeah, please do hon." Remarked Mrs. Obama.
The president turned a little purple and said that Jacob Lusk is one fantastic singer. He then pointed out that even Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson had said that in the 10 years that American Idol has been on the air, he has never heard a better singer than Lusk and that includes the likes of Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken, Daughtry, Carrie Underwood, and even Sanjaya Malakar.
President Obama said that Jacob Lusk will certainly blow away all of the other contestants with his Ebenezer Baptist Church-like wailing.
The Right Coast Illustrated Revue just printed a story that Celine Dion has already stated publicly that she will definitely be recording a duet with Jacob Lusk sometime in the near future.