Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle, Beer, Japan

Saturday, 26 February 2011

image for SuBo fanatics cause Japanese beer shortage!
Gurgle burp!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have caused Japan to run out of beer, after SuBo was heard humming away in a Japanese beer commercial.

"If Susan has endorsed it, then it's good enough for me! I immediately took my wealthy husband's credit card and ordered 5 million bottles. Normally we don't drink beer, what with it being really for poor people. We usually stick to vintage champagne, but we've made an exception this time!" said some typically wealthy fanatic while getting her nails done.

"I couldn't remember the name of the beer, so I just ordered anything that sounded Japanese. I think we have 2 million bottles of fermented firefly urine coming, if the online translation thingy is at all accurate," grumbled another fanatic.

The commercial was intended only for Japan, but word 'got out' that SuBo was singing.

"Oh, we've no idea how they could possibly have found out about it!" grinned some generic 12-year-old kipper tie-wearing uber-trendy PR guru. "We must be more careful who we mention things to in the future!" he laughed.

"We're going to sell it on our Tacky Gift Shop!" cackled a chief fanatic. "The pains in the asses, er, sorry, fans should pay at least $25 a bottle. We'll tell them it's straight from Susan's fridge! Cha-ching!" she continued to cackle.

The beer company was unavailable for comment after their spokesman unfortunately drowned in a sea of red scarves sent in by the loonies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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